What do you give a man who has just about everything & doesn’t want or need anything for Father’s Day? The only ‘hint’s we got this year were a few grumbles about ‘homemade presents are best’, and an occasional ‘please don’t give me anything with payments’ . . . My husband is one of a kind. He tries to ignore the subject completely thinking that the kids and I will forget about it all together, which never works but he tries it anyway. He likes things simple, which is one of the many reasons I love him so. If I just clean the kitchen he’s delighted, so we didn’t need to do much.
After some thought, we decided to take the practical route, and ‘do’ something around the house that he would ‘do’ himself if he had the time. Conveniently, he and our middle son were gone to Boy Scout camp the entire week before Father’s Day. What a break! They left Sunday afternoon & Monday morning, the rest of the kids and I headed for “Home Depot” where everyone’s an expert, except me. I had squirreled away a phone ‘rebate’ check for 100.00, so we felt like the sky was the limit. We bought paint, spackle, sandpaper, and floor tiles to give our laundry room and back entry hall a much needed make-over. . . . the hundred that originally made me feel like a bootleggers wife vanished, gone, lickety split~a mere down payment. But, it went for a worthy cause, and besides it wasn’t THAT much more . . .so off we went.
Now, before you get too skeptical you must know that re-doing the laundry room really was for him, not me. I know it’s unusual but he spends more time in there than I do~ironing his shirts & doing the boys laundry. I know ladies, I’m not as stupid as I look. I’m fully aware I won the marital lottery. Get over it. I won. Get your own.
Here’s what we learned that week:
1)Wallpaper from 1972 does NOT surrender easily. I’m rather certain that the glue used then is now used to hold heat shields in place on the Space Shuttle.
2)Baseboards with quarter round attached like to be left alone, so when they’re pried off, they like to take 45 year old plasterboard with them as keepsakes.
3)Patching large holes in old plaster walls is harder than it looks. In our case, the end result of our best efforts there looks like the walls have really bad acne in some places. Yes, I sanded. So much so that were we making our own paper, we’d have depleted much of our southern coastline. The real problem is that water damaged plasterboard, and our modern wallboard are only distant relatives, not counterparts.
4)One coat of “Kilz” is rarely enough as a good base coat like the salesman said.
5)Not all “Kilz” cleans up with water~I should have read the label more carefully. *In my defense, the salesman handed me the can and said “yes, water clean up.” I should have double checked. I know, I know.
6)Varnish remover removes flesh. It’s one of those gifts that keeps on giving . . . again, lack of label reading on my part. If it says “wear gloves”, rent a HAZMAT suit.
7)”Do-It-Yourself” floor tiles really ARE easier than thought. . .if you measure correctly to start with. Unfortunately my math skills are those of a four year old cat.
8)Sliding a freezer, washer and dryer on top of new floor tiles without damage is risky, at times life threatening. They tip easier than they slide. Then they’re out of balance & they leak.
9)The ‘one more quart’ of lovely green paint to ‘finish up with’ that you go back to the store and buy never, NEVER matches the original gallon you bought at the start.
10)Homemade gifts really are best.
He was definitely surprised and very (politely) complimentary, even grateful. And I must say it is at least improvement. I happen to think it looks best if you sprint through there. Or if you must stop for some reason, perhaps to chat with my husband as he’s starching his shirt, stand in the doorway with your feet about a foot away from the door-frame, and lean on your left shoulder. Then it looks REALLY good. But try to keep your eyes straight ahead. Don’t look around or you may get dizzy.
Amidst all this chaos . . . God loves me . . .
